


So Much Love Hidden Beneath This Skin

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive sibling, Angst, Boys Kissing, Exhibitionism, Getting Together, Homophobia, I'm not sure if it's light or not, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Kind of accidental, M/M, No Smut, Roommates, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, Sexuality Crisis, Voyeurism, ex-best friends to friends to lovers, it's just a small scene, the abusive sibling does not appear, they're only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27078523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: Niall and Harry were best friends when they were younger until Niall made a decision that tore them apart. Now, they're two completely different people who just so happen to need each other. Harry needs a roommate and Niall needs to get out of a hostile living environment. It's the perfect opportunity to try rebuilding their friendship. And maybe while he's at it, Niall can stop denying the part of himself he's been hiding all these years.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Original Male Character(s), Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Harry Styles
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50
Collections: Heartbreak Weather Fic Fest





	So Much Love Hidden Beneath This Skin

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the song Put a Little Love On Me and was written for the Heartbreak Weather Fic Fest. You can read all the other fics for this fest [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HeartbreakWeatherFicFest)
> 
> Thank you to the mod of this fest for being the most amazing and patient person ever. ❤️️ And thank you to my beta for being amazing and always up for working at the last second. I apologize for all the grey hairs that I've given you both!

  
  


“Watch out!” A voice calls just in time for Harry to duck out of the way of the football that comes careening at his head. 

Glancing over his shoulder at the guys that had been playing footie, Harry walks over and picks up their ball from where it’s landed. He’s walking it over to them with the full intent to give it back until they get a good look at him and he hears one of them snort. 

“Should have let it hit him, _fucking poof,”_ the tallest one laughs, making nearly all of his friends laugh as well. It’s obvious he wasn’t even trying to be quiet about his insult. 

Harry knows what he looks like. His long hair and eyeliner and nail varnish make for some rude comments, especially with the toxic masculinity running rampant in this town. The all-black ensemble he’s wearing, complete with spiked leather jacket doesn’t typically help either. He’s used to it, but that doesn’t mean he has to stand there and take it. Harry smiles at them, winking one kohl-lined eye as he sticks his hand in his pocket, pulls out his pocket knife, and with one swift puncture ruins their ball. He tosses it at their feet. “Have a nice day,” he tells them, turning on his heel and walking in the other direction.

“Why did you have to be such a dick?” He hears one of them complain behind him to one of the others, a voice he’s been all too familiar with in the past. “He was gonna give it back before you were so stupid.”

“You don’t know that. He was probably going to pop it anyway. He’s a fucking punk,” the one who laughed says before yelling at Harry’s back. “You’re gonna pay for a new ball!”

Harry raises a hand and gives him the middle finger over his shoulder without even turning around. He doesn’t need this today. He’s already dealing with having to find a new flatmate and worrying about not being able to afford his rent if he doesn’t. He’s got enough on his mind without having to worry about these small-minded arseholes.

“Hey, wait up!” Harry hears behind him and turns to look over his shoulder, slightly curious but not enough to actually stop.

“I’m not paying for anything for that knob,” he says lazily, not slowing his speed in the slightest even though he recognizes that this is the one lad that _didn’t_ laugh at him.

“No, I don’t blame you,” the boy agrees, keeping up with Harry’s long stride easily even though he’s a little shorter. “Leo can be a real prick some-…, well, the majority of the time actually. Sorry about him.”

“You know, my mum always told me that if you have to apologise for your friends, it’s probably a good idea to get new friends.” 

“Good advice. But those guys aren’t my friends,” the boy says, looking over his shoulder at the group they’re leaving behind. “They’re my brother’s friends.”

Harry takes a quick peek at his companion who seems content to just walk with him without a care about where they’re going. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” the boy shrugs. 

“Why are you following me, Niall? You haven’t talked to me since year ten when I came out to you.”

“Yeah, about that,” Niall says scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Look, I know I was a jerk about it. I didn’t mean to be but I was dealing with my own… things, and it sort of caught me by surprise at a really bad time. It’s no excuse really, I should have been there for you, I know that but—”

“Niall!” Harry interrupts, grasping Niall by the shoulders. “It was a long time ago. It’s fine. I forgive you.”

“You— you do?” Niall asks, blinking in confusion. 

“Welllll,” Harry hums with a smirk. “Remember that time in year eleven when someone over-inflated your basketball and when you bounced it, it came back and hit you in the face?”

“How do you know about that?” Niall questions, though from the way Harry’s grin turns self-satisfied, he’s starting to get an inkling. 

“That was me. It was just luck that I was walking by to see it when you finally used it.”

Niall raises a brow at Harry, smirking himself as they walk. “First my basketball, now Leo’s football. You got a thing about balls, Harry?”

Harry snorts, but doesn’t respond otherwise. He’s got somewhere to be. 

“So, uh,” Niall says, keeping up with Harry’s quick stride. “I heard that you need a new flatmate.”

Surprised, Harry stops walking and turns to Niall. “Who told you that?”

“Liam?” Niall sounds so unsure, like he’s worried maybe it was a secret and he doesn’t want to get his friend in trouble. 

Harry sighs, tossing his head back in resigned defeat. “Of course you’re still friends with Liam.”

“Look, Harry, it’s not Liam’s fault that I was a knob back in the day,” Niall starts but Harry holds up a hand to cut him off.

“This isn’t about that. I don’t blame anyone for that. It’s in the past anyway,” Harry runs a hand through his hair. It’s a habit when he’s frustrated or flustered. “My current roommate situation is entirely Liam’s fault though, so I do blame him for that. But don’t tell him I said that because then he’ll think I’m not happy that he and Louis are moving in together and I am happy for them, I just…” he stops to take a deep breath and meets Niall’s eyes. “Are you asking to be my roommate, Niall? Because if that’s what this is, I don’t think it’s a good idea and I have to get to the print shop to make some flyers before they close.”

“Wait!” Niall catches Harry’s wrist when he tries to walk away and holds fast, stopping Harry before he can go far. “Why don’t you think it’s a good idea?”

“ _Really_ , Niall?” Harry questions skeptically. “We don’t know each other anymore. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve changed a lot since year ten and, apparently, if you’re still friends with Liam since he started dating Louis, so have you.”

“What? So you’re gonna make flyers advertising you need a roommate to total strangers instead? How does that make sense?” Niall asks, genuinely confused. At least he and Harry have a history. Sure, the last few years have sucked but they used to have the best friendship before Niall fucked it up. 

Harry clenches his jaw, unable to deny that Niall has a point.

“Look, if you really have forgiven me for being an arse when we were kids, then just give me a chance,” Niall suggests with wide, pleading eyes. “You won’t have to pay for flyers _and_ I can move in whenever you're ready so you won’t have to worry about missing rent either.”

Harry stares at Niall standing there with his hands clasped together in front of him like he’s praying for Harry to say yes. Finally, he sighs, shaking his head at himself. He thought he had forgiven Niall but apparently he was still holding onto some resentment deep down. Looks like he’s going to have a chance to work through that with his new roommate. “Fine, but we’re gonna have to set some ground rules when you move in.”

“You got it!” Niall agrees, hugging Harry impulsively. He quickly releases him when Harry doesn’t hug back immediately. “Sorry. But I promise, you won’t regret this!”

Harry isn’t too sure about that. 

*

“Bring that other box when you come down,” Liam says, walking toward the door with a stack of boxes in his arms that he’s taking down to the van he’s borrowed for the day.

“What, this box?” Louis asks with a grin, holding up the box of condoms he most definitely stole from Harry’s room. 

“Hey!” Harry cries when he recognizes it. “Those are mine.”

“Not anymore,” Louis laughs, chucking it into the last box he’s taping up. “Just think of it as a going away present.”

“Fine,” Harry gives in without a fuss, going back to folding the afghan they’ve had over the back of the sofa for years. It’s Louis’ and it’s going with him but Harry’s gonna miss it. “You’re getting laid way more than me these days anyway.”

“Just hurry please,” Liam sighs, fondly impatient as he walks outside, barely able to see where he’s going.

“Sorry, Li,” Niall calls over his shoulder as he walks into his new flat. He meets Harry’s eyes, grimacing as he explains, “nearly knocked his boxes over the railing on the stairs.”

“That would’ve been something to see,” Harry snickers. “Louis’ underwear strewn all over the stairwell, probably a few dildos too.”

“Nah, I left the dildos for you. After all, I _am_ getting laid way more than you are these days,” Louis says breezily, giving Harry a cheeky wink and picking up his box. “You’re welcome.”

Harry gasps dramatically, putting a hand on his heart. “Used sex toys? Oh my god, just what I always wanted, thank you.”

Niall feels a bit like he’s intruding on something as he watches Louis and Harry banter back and forth, an ugly twist of jealousy in his stomach because that could have been him and Harry. It’s his own fault for ruining it though. 

“Hey, uh,” he interrupts their chatter, and it’s terrible but he feels immediately better once they’re both looking at him instead of teasing each other. “Is it alright if I start bringing my stuff in?”

“Yeah, sure.” Harry places Louis’ afghan on top of the box Louis’ picking up to carry downstairs, moving to follow Niall downstairs. “I’ll help.”

“You’re just gonna leave me to carry this by myself, Hazza?” Louis pouts.

“It’s one box and an afghan. You’ll be fine,” Harry chuckles. “Your boyfriend is probably getting irritated you’re not down there yet.”

“He should be used to me being late by now,” Louis replies, making a show of picking up his box. “It’s so heavy, Haz.”

“It’s the condoms. Responsibility is a heavy weight to bear,” Harry answers sagely, following a snickering Niall down the stairs.

Liam and Louis help them get Niall’s stuff into the flat even though he missed them moving out Louis’ stuff. When all of Niall’s boxes are in his new room, the four of them order Chinese delivery and sit around the living room, chatting. And even though Niall knows them all in some capacity, he feels a little like an outsider the entire time. He wasn’t there when Harry and Louis met and became best friends. He wasn’t there when Harry met Liam as Louis’ boyfriend. Niall has missed a lot and he spent years with the thought of what he was missing out on somewhere in the back of his mind every time he saw Harry across campus at school or walking around town, things he walked away from and deprived himself of, but he’s never felt the pain of missing out on those things so acutely as he does right now, sitting surrounded by them. 

*

Harry and Niall living together starts off well, if a little stilted. They move around each other with ease, and chat occasionally over breakfast or dinner if they’re home at the same time but there’s none of the camaraderie that used to exist between them when they were kids. It’s not until they both have a night off from working their separate jobs, that they find themselves bonding again. 

“Hey,” Niall greets from his corner of the sofa when Harry walks out of his room after having an afternoon nap. “Wasn’t sure you were still home.”

“It’s my night off,” Harry replies bleary-eyed as he walks to the kitchen to get some water. “What are you watching?”

Niall shrugs, glancing at the tv. “I dunno. I just put something on. I’ve mostly been playing stuff on my phone.”

“Can I pick something?” Harry asks, bringing his water with him as he sits on the other side of the sofa. 

“Sure,” Niall shrugs again. “Like I said, I’m not using it.”

“Thanks.” Harry picks up the remote, turning on Netflix and flipping through his ‘Watch It Again’ list. He picks The Wedding Planner and puts the remote down, taking a drink of his water.

“Really?” Niall questions, gaze going from the tv screen to Harry’s face.

“What, you don’t like rom-coms?” Harry asks, one eyebrow raised as though challenging Niall to say something disparaging about his choice of entertainment. 

“No, they’re fine, I just… didn’t realize you were a repeat watcher,” Niall tells him, already feeling a little chastised just because of that look.

“I’m not really big on surprises,” Harry says vaguely, putting his water on the coffee table and sinking back into the sofa to get comfortable. He reaches behind him, but remembers at the last second that the afghan he’s reaching for is no longer there, so he drops his hand back into his lap with a sigh. “I like watching things where I already know what’s going to happen. It’s comforting.”

“I can understand that,” Niall nods thoughtfully, wondering if that sentiment applies to the rest of Harry’s life, and if maybe Niall’s reaction to his coming out might be part of the reason why if it does. “But also, if you never try anything new, you’ll never find new things to love and find comfort in.”

Harry looks over at Niall, studying him like he’s considering his words, maybe searching for deeper meaning in them. “Maybe you’re right. But for now, I’m good with this.”

“Okay.” 

After a few minutes of watching the movie and noticing how Harry can’t seem to get comfortable, Niall gets up and goes to his room. 

Harry watches him go without a word, not expecting him to come back, but he does, bringing Harry a soft afghan that he remembers from when they were best friends. 

“Thanks,” Harry tells him, tentatively accepting the offering. He swallows at the memories the afghan brings back to him, pushing them back to the farthest corner of his mind and turning back to his movie.

“No problem,” Niall answers, sitting down and getting back to the game on his phone. He tries not to feel stung at Harry’s hesitation and then dismissal. He can’t say he doesn’t deserve it, and it’s not like Harry rejected the offer completely. Maybe there’s still hope for them yet. 

*

They slowly start growing into their friendship again, getting comfortable with each other by watching films together on the sofa on their days off. Sometimes they’ll watch something new, and sometimes it’s one of Harry’s comfort films, and occasionally they’ll end up chatting over the film until they’re not really watching at all. 

But no matter what they do, Niall is very aware of their limitations. He doesn’t ask Harry to hang out outside of the little bubble of their flat and Harry doesn’t invite him out either. They don’t text when they’re working or call each other at all unless there’s something one of them forgot to put on the grocery list. They need time, he supposes, to get back to some semblance of what they once were. And he really wants that, so he doesn’t push. 

Harry, in the meantime, feels like they’re in purgatory, stuck in a place where they’re not allowed to really be themselves or grow beyond this polite treading they do in front of each other. Maybe they need a push. Something to get them past the hurdle of their past. 

Harry’s still thinking about it as he exits the bathroom after a shower, drying his hair with a towel as he walks to his room, when he bumps into Niall in the hallway.

“Shit, sorry,” Harry says, catching Niall by the shoulder with his free hand to steady him, but Niall seems too dazed to say anything back, eyes glued to Harry’s chest. 

Harry raises an eyebrow, waiting for Niall to realize he’s staring. 

But he doesn’t. Niall just continues to stare, taking in Harry’s defined chest still glistening from his shower. His mouth hangs open slightly and Harry feels something stir in his stomach, a warmth that makes him take a slow deep breath before he speaks.

“You alright?” Harry asks, grasping Niall by the shoulder and breaking him out of his daze. “Should I get you some water?”

“No. I’m fine,” Niall answers automatically, blinking himself out of his daze. It takes him another moment to wonder, “why would I need water?”

Harry smirks, moving around Niall to walk to his room, tossing over his shoulder, “you looked a little thirsty there, mate.”

Niall drops his head into his hands with a groan, walking to his room and shutting himself off from the sounds of Harry’s teasing laughter. He’s so embarrassed.

*

Niall doesn’t mean to keep doing it, but since bumping into Harry after his shower the other day, he can’t help noticing how attractive the other lad is. His eyes look so dramatic and pretty lined in the black liner he wears when he goes out and his shoulders look strong and sinful in his leather jacket. But it’s when he’s dressed down at home, no eyeliner, grey sweatpants, painting his nails that Niall’s breath sometimes catches while trying and failing not to watch him. 

Niall has always known objectively that Harry was beautiful, even when they were kids, but that changed when they were teenagers. It was before Harry had come out to him, but he’d been able to push that to the side when he’d thought he could only ever have Harry as a friend. It was easy enough not to question things about himself when there was no temptation to do more, to _be_ more. 

When Harry had come out to him, that had put a crack into the haphazard wall he’d been building out of his denial. If Harry was like him, there was a chance that something could change between them, something thrilling but dangerous. And Niall could put Harry in front of that danger no more than he could put himself there, so he’d done the hard, but ultimately safer thing for both of them. He’d distanced himself from Harry. It had hurt, but he had to do it. 

Harry had never had to hear the awful things Niall’s brother said about boys who liked other boys. He didn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t to avoid bullying in a place that was supposed to feel like a home. He hadn’t had to endure the bruises when he’d been caught looking at things Niall’s brother didn’t think he should be looking at. And thanks to Harry giving Niall a second chance, neither did Niall anymore. 

His gratitude to Harry has nothing to do with his attraction though. It has everything to do with Harry always being unapologetically himself and such a kind, non-judgemental soul. He never makes Niall feel wrong in his own skin. It’s just his outer beauty that was the catalyst. 

Niall is trying not to be weird about it, but he thinks he’s failing. Especially when he gets home from work one night and walks in on Harry and some guy making out on their couch. 

“Uh, hey,” Niall says awkwardly as they break apart at the sound of the door opening. 

“Heyyyy,” the new guy answers with an unsure wave as he looks between Harry and Niall.

“Hey, Niall.” Harry seems unbothered, combing his curls back from his face with a hand. “This is Tristan.”

“Niall,” he introduces himself to the guy as he shuts the door behind himself. 

Tristan waves again, making a face that says he kind of just wants to get back to snogging. 

“No sex on the sofa, right?” Niall checks with Harry, though they both know it’s more of a reminder of their rules than a question.

“Nah, don’t worry, Niall,” Harry chuckles. “If I wanna be an exhibitionist, there are far more public places to have sex.”

Tristan twists his head to look at Harry so quickly Niall thinks he’ll give himself whiplash. “Is that a possibility?”

Harry smirks at his date. “Not tonight. But… maybe. If you play your cards right.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Niall interrupts before Tristan can respond (favorably from the looks of it). “I’ll just, uh, head to my room.”

“Have a good night, Niall.” Harry’s barely finished talking before he and Tristan are kissing again, Harry pulling Tristan down on top of him. 

Niall means to go to his room. He does. But he ends up stopping in the hallway and listening to the wet smack of lips and the soft hums of satisfaction. Closing his eyes, he leans back against the wall, a torrid fantasy of being in Tristan’s place running through his mind. 

“We should go to my room,” Harry whispers, the statement ending in another smack of wet, devouring lips. 

Niall swallows, his eyes flying open and his heart picking up speed as he panics for a second about being caught listening. 

“In a minute,” Tristan delays, calming the thundering in Niall’s chest and having him peeking around the corner to look at the couple on the sofa.

They’ve shifted so that Harry’s on Tristan’s lap with Tristan’s back against the arm of the sofa. Harry’s facing the hallway and one look up and he’d see Niall watching. Niall can’t decide if that prospect is terrifying or thrilling but regardless, he’s rooted to the spot.

Harry’s eyes flutter open as Tristan kisses his throat and he glances up, half-lidded eyes widening when he catches Niall peering at them. 

He half-expects Niall to leave or make a face or something, not knowing how Niall will handle seeing Harry with another guy after the way he’d reacted to Harry’s coming out when they were kids. He knows he’s teased Niall about staring at him after he’s come out of the shower but that was different, a joke between friends. At least, he _thinks_ they’re becoming friends again. It feels like they are. 

Niall doesn’t look disgusted though, or even embarrassed to be caught staring. He just stands there, watching. Something like longing in his gaze that sends a shiver down Harry’s spine. Breathless at the strange sense of anticipation in the moment, Harry stares back, eyes locked with Niall’s as he moans wantonly when Tristan bites his neck just the way he likes. 

Niall gasps at the noise, hand on the front of his trousers where they’re tenting obscenely as he turns and rushes to his room. 

Not a minute later, Harry’s bedroom door slams shut, followed swiftly by loud moans and curses that Niall absolutely doesn’t listen to as he gets himself off. 

*

Things have gotten weird in their flat again. Neither of them have spoken about that night when Harry had caught Niall watching him and Tristan like a perv and now some weird tension is brewing between them that neither of them seems to know what to do with it. The joking and banter that they’d started to get back seems to have vanished, their movements and communication unsure in a way it never was before.

They both have Wednesday off at their respective jobs this week and Harry isn’t sure he can handle sitting next to Niall and watching a film like nothing strange has happened. He suggests inviting Liam and Louis over because maybe if they have other people around things won’t feel so complicated. 

Louis and Liam both have to work so they come over for a late supper, bringing an apple pie with them for dessert and, for a little while, it’s nice. Comfortable.

Niall and Liam catch up on sports talk while Harry and Louis talk about music and paint Harry’s nails. They drink beer and laugh and, for an hour or so, it’s easy. They’re all just friends enjoying each other’s company. 

Sometimes Harry will catch Niall looking at him and it’s simple enough to smile and get back to his conversation with Louis without worrying about it. 

It’s not until Louis and Liam go home that Harry realizes that things weren’t going quite as smoothly as he’d imagined. 

*

Niall is a little unsteady on his feet when he hugs Liam goodbye and gives Louis a friendly pat on the back as he walks out the door. He thinks he’s hiding it pretty well until he trips while closing the door behind them and Harry has to catch him, steading him with a warm hand on each of his shoulders. 

“Careful,” Harry warns, looking into his bleary gaze with concern. “How much have you had to drink tonight, Niall?”

“Not enough to forget what a creep I was the other night,” he says with a bitter tone, closing his eyes ruefully. “I’m sorry, Harry. I should’ve gone to my room, like I said I was.”

“Niall,” Harry sighs, unsure what to say in reply. Honestly, he didn’t really mind. He kind of got off on it, but he also doesn’t want to encourage Niall to feel like he can watch him with his dates anytime he wants.

“Is Tristan your boyfriend?’ Niall asks abruptly, distracting Harry from his train of thought.

“Uh, no,” Harry answers, uncertain if this is still about what happened the other night, and if it is, if it’s a conversation they should be having right now. “I don’t really- I haven’t had a boyfriend in while. He was just a date that went well enough to end up back here.”

“Why haven’t you had a boyfriend in a while?”

“You’re very curious when you’re drunk,” Harry replies with a light laugh. “Come on, let’s get you to the sofa.”

“I am curious,” Niall agrees with a nod, allowing Harry to lead him to the sofa. “So, why haven’t you?”

“It’s… uh. It’s complicated, Niall.” Harry tells him, wrapping him in the afghan he’s left on the back of the sofa ever since the night he’d offered to let Harry use it while they were watching The Wedding Planner. “I’m gonna get you some water, ‘kay?”

“Is it them?” Niall keeps on even as Harry goes to the kitchen to grab a glass of water for him. “The other guys? Are they all knobheads? I bet they are.”

As he walks back with Niall’s glass, Harry grins at how indignant Niall is getting over these hypothetical ‘knobheads’ that don’t want to be Harry’s boyfriend. He’s pretty cute when he’s getting disgruntled on Harry’s behalf. 

“It’s not them, Niall,” Harry says, handing Niall the water and making sure he has a firm grip before letting go. “Well, not entirely.”

“What do you mean? You don’t want a boyfriend?” Niall asks, looking so confused at this turn of events. 

“No, I do,” Harry disagrees, sitting on the sofa next to Niall. “I just… It’s not too hard to find guys that like me but I don’t want to settle for someone who only likes parts of me. I want someone who can like me for everything that I am. All of me, the eyeliner and the nailpolish and the hair. I want someone who doesn’t mind that I don’t think that clothes should be gendered and I’ll wear whatever the hell I want.” He looks at Niall to see if he’s still following the conversation and when he sees him paying close attention, Harry continues. “Someone who wouldn’t care if I left the house with a full face of makeup on because other people’s opinions don’t matter and all that they cared about was that they liked me and wanted me to be happy, y’know?”

Niall winces, feeling like he’s being called out for dropping Harry in the past. He knows it must seem like he didn’t accept Harry then, and at the time, it was easier to let him think that than to face the truth. Niall kind of wishes he could take it back now though, that his 14-year-old self had been brave enough to at least explain things to Harry. “What if they accept you and they’re just worried about you getting hurt going out like that?”

Harry looks at Niall thoughtfully. “I don’t know,” he responds slowly. “I think it depends on whether they’re actually worried about _me_ getting hurt or themselves getting hurt for being with me.”

“Right,” Niall says, sinking in on himself. He was worried about Harry when they were kids, but he was worried about himself too. He still had to live with his brother, the threat to him was more imminent than it would have been to Harry. It doesn’t make him feel any less ashamed though. 

“Niall, are you okay?” Harry asks, reaching to cradle Niall’s nape in his hand and searching his face. He says it with such concern and touches him so tenderly that Niall can’t help the surge of emotion that over takes him, a warm burst of want spreading through his chest. 

“Almost,” Niall whispers, leaning in to press his lips to Harry’s. 

“Whoa. Wait,” Harry pulls back immediately, flinching from his kiss. 

“Sorry,” Niall says automatically, throwing the afghan off of him and moving to stand.

“Niall, wait,” Harry stops him, grasping his wrist and pulling him back down onto the sofa, not letting him leave. “What’s going on here?”

Niall ducks his head. He doesn’t know how to answer that. “I don’t-- I don’t know.”

“Look, you’re drunk,” Harry informs him like he doesn’t already know.

“Not that drunk,” Niall argues petulantly, tugging his wrist from Harry’s grip and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Any amount of drunk is too much and I’ll help you get to bed to sleep it off in a minute but first, I need to know what just happened, Niall. Did all the beer make you a little randy and anyone will do?” Harry questions earnestly, eyes softening when he adds, “Or is this something else? Niall, if you’re going through something, I’m here for you. I mean… as a friend though, not an experiment.”

Niall swallows hard, refusing to meet Harry’s eyes. “I don’t know, Harry. I mean… I’m definitely not-” he can’t make himself say it. He’s never said it before and he doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to say it right now. _Straight,_ he thinks. At least he can manage that.

“Hey,” Harry says gently, pulling Niall into his arms and cradling his head as he rests it on Harry’s shoulder. “Whatever is going on, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

Niall squeezes his eyes shut at those words. They’re words that Niall should have said to Harry when they were 14, the ghost of a million ‘should haves’ that have been haunting Niall for years. Harry deserved better. 

“Come on.” Harry pulls him up from the sofa, still holding Niall in his arms. “Let’s get you to bed.”

*

Things get both better and worse from there. Their friendship is less strained and Harry is quick to smile and joke with him again, but he’s also more cautious with his touches. 

Niall is a mixture of embarrassed and defeated by the fact that Harry is fearful of encouraging any feelings Niall has that might be more than friendly. Niall just wishes that he could stop making things weird between them. And maybe to do that, he needs to initiate a conversation. One that they should have had a long time ago. 

“Hey,” he says a few days after the drunken almost kiss incident, setting a beer for Harry on the coffee table in offering as he sits next to him on the sofa, his own drink in hand. “Got a few minutes to talk?”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry answers, pausing the show he was watching and putting the remote down to turn his full attention on Niall. “What about?”

Niall notices that Harry doesn’t touch the beer. Probably for the best after what happened last time. Niall isn’t drinking his either, he just needs something to do with his hands.

“I need to tell you something. About what happened when we were kids.”

“Niall, I told you--”

“I know. You’ve forgiven me,” Niall interrupts Harry from dismissing it again. “Or at least, mostly forgiven me. But I need you to know why it happened in the first place.”

“Okay,” Harry accepts, watching Niall patiently. 

“I, um,” Niall stops and takes a deep breath. “I didn’t stop being your friend because you came out to me.” He thinks about his words and tilts his head in consideration. “Well, I mean, I did. But it wasn’t because of _you.”_

Harry frowns. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Niall looks down at his hands, picking the label off his beer bottle. “You remember my brother, Greg?”

“Yeah.” Harry nods, his fading frown coming back in full force. “He was always a bit of a prat to me.”

“Yeah, well, he’s worse now,” Niall tells him. “And he’s homophobic as fuck. Always has been. Not just the kind that will say something nasty to you if he knows or suspects you’re gay. The kind that will try to hurt you if he can.”

“Oh, Niall,” Harry covers his mouth in sudden, horrified understanding. “And that’s why you…”

Niall nods but barrels on, not wanting to give himself too much credit. He doesn’t deserve it. “I didn’t just do it for you though. I also-- .” He has to take another deep breath to fortify his courage. It’s not enough to make his next words come out as more than a whisper, but it’s enough to let him say them. “I did it for me too.”

“It’s okay, Niall. I get it.” Harry reaches over, putting his hand over the top of one of Niall’s fidgeting ones. “I mean, I wish you would have talked to me, but that couldn’t have been an easy call to make. Especially at fourteen. And I’m sorry for my part in putting you in that situation.”

“Harry,” Niall shakes his head, somehow feeling worse. None of this is Harry’s fault. “No, It’s- You didn’t do anything wrong, you just… I guess, you made me face some things that I was trying to ignore about myself at the time. Things that I didn’t want Greg to see, but also, things I wasn’t ready to see either.”

“God, Niall,” Harry has to take a deep breath. He was so hurt and angry about how Niall had just abandoned him back then. He hadn't given a single thought to the why. Not really. Sure, he’d asked himself why a thousand times over the years but he’d never actually sought an answer. He’d been too wrapped up in his own pain to consider that maybe Niall had been going through something too. “I wish I had been there for you. Maybe if we’d both--” He cuts himself off with a shake of his head. Maybe’s are pretty useless now. 

“I appreciate the thought, Harry, but I really don’t deserve it. Even if you’d tried, I wouldn’t have let you be there for me. Greg would have beat the shit out of you if he ever found out and I couldn’t put you through that. But also, selfishly, I was afraid of him knowing about you and thinking I was gay too. Even if it was the truth.” _There_ , Niall thinks. He’s said it as plainly as he can. He was being selfish when he’d stopped talking to Harry. “I wasn’t worthy of your friendship, Harry. It’s like what you said about what you want in a boyfriend. Someone who isn’t afraid of what other people think, or if they are, they’re more worried about your safety than their own.” Niall runs a hand through his hair, already feeling run ragged by his guilt and self-hatred. “I think that should extend to friends as well. That would be a true friend.”

Niall isn’t surprised to find an angry fire burning in Harry’s eyes when he can force himself to meet them. No matter what his own demons had been back then, he had been such a shit friend to Harry. He just hopes that Harry will still give him the chance to make up for it.

“I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit, Niall,” Harry says, his tone harder than Niall has ever heard it before. The words that follow are nothing Niall ever expected to hear as Harry reaches over and takes the beer from his hands and puts it on the coffee table. Then, he gets a firm grasp on the back of Niall’s neck, staring straight into his eyes as he continues much more gently, almost desperately. “That’s absolutely not the same thing, love. Worrying about the actions of strangers that might try to bully you in the streets doesn’t even compare to having to live with your tormentor. Ni, you were in a situation that you couldn’t get away from. I don’t blame you for distancing yourself from something that might have gotten you hurt. Not just once, but every day you were forced to go back there.”

“You don’t?”

Harry runs his thumb over Niall’s cheek, catching a tear he’s not sure Niall even realizes has fallen. “I honestly don’t,” he states without a single smidge of the resentment he’d been carrying. It has no place in his heart now that he knows the whole story. “You were a kid, Niall. You made the best choice you could. I’m just glad that you’re not stuck there anymore.”

Niall takes a deep, shuddering breath and sags into the hug Harry engulfs him in, tears leaking out onto Harry’s shirt as Niall hugs him just as tight.

*

It’s only been a few days and Harry knows that it must have been difficult for Niall to start such a hard conversation, but he’s so glad they had it. The air between them that had been thick with guilt and bitterness is clear now, breathable again. 

Even when they’d felt like they were becoming friends again, there had been something deep inside Harry, a lingering darkness that had been tainting every good feeling, never letting him feel completely comfortable in their interactions. That’s gone too. In its place is a deep sense of empathy and re-kindled affection that makes their friendship feel a bit like it’s picked up right where they left off when they were kids.

“Hey, Ni,” Harry calls, walking out of his room toward Niall’s. “Have you seen my sheer black shirt? I wanted to wear it tonight.”

“It’s on top of my dresser. Got mixed in with my laundry again,” Niall answers from where he’s pre-gaming in the kitchen, preparing for their first night actually going out together. 

Truth be told, tonight will be his first time at a gay club, his first time openly doing anything that might hint at his sexuality and he’s kind of bricking it. He’s not going to tell Harry that though, afraid he might change his mind about them going and Niall is too chuffed about being asked along to risk missing it. He’s enjoying being part of Harry’s inner circle again too much to give it up now. 

“If you want to borrow my clothes, Niall, just ask,” Harry says with a playful smirk as he enters the kitchen fixing the collar of his sheer blouse.

Niall lets his eyes trail over Harry’s chest and down his torso, forcibly calming the feelings of desire that try to stir in his stomach. He and Harry are finally friends again. Real friends. He’s not going to ruin it by letting those feelings loose. Not a second time. Trying to kiss Harry once was a mistake. A second time could be disastrous. 

Niall forces his eyes from Harry’s body, keeping his tone calm and collected. “Somehow, I doubt they’d have the same impact if I wore them.”

Harry glances down at his shirt and then raises his eyes to give Niall a slow once-over. He’s wearing a nice button-up and he looks good in it, but Harry could see him pulling some guy at the club in a sheer shirt just as easily. “I think you’d look sexy,” he says with a shrug. 

“Thanks, mate,” Niall laughs ruefully. “It’s sweet of you to try not to bruise my ego.”

“You’d look amazing and I won’t hear another word otherwise, got it?” Harry raises a stern eyebrow, pinching Niall’s side.

“Ouch!” Niall jumps, rubbing at the stinging spot on his side. “Fine. I got it.”

“Good,” Harry nods his approval of Niall’s acquiescence, taking the last of Niall’s drink and downing it himself. “You ready to go?” He asks, walking back toward his room to grab a jacket.

“As I’ll ever be,” Niall tells his empty glass. He takes a steadying breath and stands, meeting Harry at the front door where Harry passes him his own jacket. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Harry response with a smile, turning to walk out their front door. Niall follows, shutting and locking the door behind him. 

He really hopes the night goes well. 

*

Liam and Louis are already at the club when they arrive. Harry thought it would be nice for Niall to have a few familiar faces for his first time and Niall can’t say that he disagrees. He’s still really nervous and it’s good to have friends he can talk to until he’s ready to venture out on his own. 

Harry sticks by his side, first to order drinks and then sitting next to him at a booth in the corner of the club while Niall drinks his Stella and works up the nerve to give it a go on the dance floor. Their friends roam between the dance floor and their booth but Harry stays, watching Niall eye the crowd but not pushing him to join it. 

“You can go out there, if you want,” Niall finally tells him, not wanting to keep Harry from having his own good time.

“I’m good here,” Harry tells him, cheek dimpling before he takes a swallow of his fruity drink. “But if you want to dance, I’ll be happy to go with you.”

“Not sure anyone would call what I do ‘dancing’,” Nial jokes, grateful but he also can’t shake the feeling of guilt at holding Harry back. “Seriously, you don’t have to babysit me. You’re missin’ out on all the sexy grinding going on out there. ”

“I’m not babysitting you, Niall.” Harry rolls his eyes, taking a little offence to the fact that Niall seems to think he needs a motive to stick around. “I’m hanging out with my friend.” Harry puts his hand over Niall’s on the tabletop. “Can I tell you’re a bit nervous? Yes. But that’s not why I’m still sitting here.”

“It’s not?” Niall looks from Harry’s hand to his face, heart fluttering wildly at the touch and the affectionate sparkle in Harry’s eyes.

Harry smiles at him like he’s the most adorable dumbass in the world. “It’s nice just being able to spend time with you again, just being ourselves like old times. Believe it or not, I did miss you, Niall.”

“Yeah, but we’ve been living together for--”

“No, I know. But we’ve been roommates working our way toward being friends again. And now, here we are.” Harry’s grin takes on a sheen of pride. “We made it.”

Niall finds himself wanting to be worthy of that pride even while something underneath his skin burns for them to have a deeper connection. “Yeah. I guess we did.”

“And as for the nerves,” Harry squeezes Niall’s hand comfortingly, “just pretend it’s a regular club. You can pull or not, but the important part is that you’re here with friends. We’re just having a good time. It doesn’t have to be more than that.”

Niall looks out on the dance floor again, taking in the dancing bodies and grounding bass of the music. Harry’s right. It’s just like any other club. There are both men and women out there and everyone is just having a good time. Looking at it that way loosens the knot of anxiety in Niall’s stomach and he smiles when he looks back and sees Harry watching him.

“See?” Harry grins, taking his hand back after giving Niall one last squeeze. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Niall downs the last of his drink and stands, Harry’s gentle encouragement giving him the confidence to leave their booth. “Still want to dance?”

“Absolutely,” Harry agrees, finishing his drink quickly to follow Niall out onto the dance floor.

Louis cheers when he sees them coming and Liam joins in when he realizes why Louis is cheering. The two of them back away from each other, making room for Harry and Niall to join them and form a circle of laughing idiots who also happen to be terrible, terrible dancers. 

*

  
Niall rests his head against the cool glass of the window on the cab ride home, a smile on his face. He had fun tonight. His friends had kept him laughing, free from the anxiety that tried to sneak in when he’d look around and realize where he was. After years of holding in this part of himself, especially when it stopped being so much about not being ready for it and started being mostly for the sake of his safety, some small kernel in the back of his mind remained irrationally worried that his brother would somehow know. That maybe Greg would be out hunting for trouble and would see him. He hadn’t had the chance to worry once he’d been surrounded by his friends.

Turning to check on Harry, Niall finds him with his head leaned back on the seat, the moonlight shining on his face. His eyes are closed and he looks content and so, so beautiful. Niall’s urge to kiss him returns but he swallows it down, turning back to his window, staring out into the night and trying to think of anything else until they make it back to their flat. 

Harry insists on paying for the cab. It’s important to him that this night be really good for Niall. He knows that Niall was nervous at the club, that maybe he’s not done coming to terms with this part of himself he’s always had to hide before, so Harry will do everything in his power to make sure that his first experience with not hiding is a good one. 

After he pays the cab driver, he turns to find Niall already heading into their building and something in his stomach drops, worries already mounting that something is bothering his friend. “Hey,” he calls, jogging to catch up. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Niall shrugs as he keeps walking, not bothering to look at Harry. 

“Okay,” Harry says with a frown, moving to pass Niall in the hallway to unlock the door of their flat. It sticks and Niall hasn’t quite gotten the hang of wriggling it just right yet. “Sorry,” he apologizes when it doesn’t open the first time. He tries again, lifting the knob as he wriggles the key.

“Let me try,” Niall insists, squeezing his way in front of Harry to jiggle the key and knock the door with his shoulder.

“What’s the rush?” Harry wonders, definitely concerned when Niall slams his shoulder into the door again. 

Niall stops fighting with the door and rests his head against it with a defeated sigh. “I just want to go to my room.

“Why, Niall? We had a good night tonight, didn’t we?” Harry asks, truly befuddled by his friend’s change in mood. He takes over wrestling with the door handle again and this time it swings open on the first try. “What happened between the club and our flat?”

Niall doesn’t answer, walking briskly into the room but Harry catches his wrist with one hand while he pushes the door shut with the other. 

“Niall, please,” Harry pleads, dropping Niall’s wrist once he’s stopped trying to walk away and instead running his hand through his hair, making it an unruly mess. “Look, you don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to but at least tell me if I did something wrong.”

“No, it’s--,” Niall cuts himself off when his mouth tries to automatically reassure Harry, squeezing his eyes shut against his own thoughts. “Everything is fine, Harry. I had a good time. I just want to go to bed now.”

Harry’s eyes trail an unsteady path over Niall’s face, checking for the sincerity he hopes is in Niall’s words, but the expression he’s wearing gives Harry no sense of relief. Niall looks pained, not tired. Harry shakes his head minutely, not willing to push as he exhales his frustration. “Okay. Goodnight, then, I guess.”

“‘Night,” Niall answers softly, turning to leave the room. He can hear the way Harry lets his body fall back against the door, hear the heavy sigh he breathes out. 

Turning his head to peek over his shoulder, Niall can’t help noticing the similarities as when he was looking at Harry in the back of the cab. Harry’s eyes are closed, his head tilted back. He doesn’t look content this time and there’s no moonlight shining it’s ethereal light over his face but he’s still every bit as beautiful and once again Niall finds himself wishing for things he has no right to wish for. 

“I wanted to kiss you,” he admits in a whisper, hating the idea that Harry thinks it’s something he’s done that’s making things feel strained right now. 

Harry’s eyes open to peer back at him and there’s no judgement in them, no disgust or annoyance. Just a wary kind of patience as he waits for Niall to get out everything he needs to get out. 

“That’s what happened,” Niall explains, better able to get the words out now that the hardest part has been said. “That’s why I need to walk out of here right now. It’s nothing you did. It’s so that I don’t do something stupid that I can’t take back.”

Harry takes in a shaky breath at Niall’s admission, opening his mouth to speak but stopping himself almost immediately, taking a moment to figure out how to say what he’s feeling. Though Niall’s back is to him, he isn’t walking out like he said he was. It feels like he’s waiting, anticipating Harry’s response and Harry feels the tension in the air like walking on a razorblade. “Kissing your roommate could be a very bad idea.”

Niall tilts his head toward Harry, taking in his words. There’s something about the way he’s said it, something about his word choice that makes Niall feel a little light headed. “ _Could be_?”

“We’re roommates that are just getting back to the kind of friendship we used to have. This could go very badly if we do it wrong, Niall,” Harry feels like his breath is caught in his throat as he takes a step closer. He’s not 100% certain, he’s making the right decision here, but he knows what he wants. “I can’t deny that it also has the potential to be really amazing if we do it right though.”

“Are you--?” Niall swallows hard, too scared of the possibilities to take his own step forward. “Are you telling me you want this too?”

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.” Harry takes all the pressure off of Niall by closing the distance himself, eyes trailing over Niall’s face, hands yearning to reach out. “We should probably talk about it first, figure out if we want it to mean the same thing.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” Niall questions. Harry is so close now and it’s a little hard to look at him, partly because of Niall’s insecurities and partly because looking at him just makes Niall want to skip the talking. He leans his forehead against Harry’s. “I know I’ve been skittish about this, about admitting to myself who I am but I’ve never been able to deny that I wanted you.”

Harry gives in to his urge to touch, lifting a hand to cradle Niall’s cheek in his palm. He runs his thumb over the smooth skin of his cheek in a soft caress before sliding his hand to the back of Niall’s neck, fingers tangling in his hair as he gently holds Niall in place. “You want me? Or you want to be with me? There’s a very important difference there, Niall.”

Niall peers up at him meekly and if it weren’t for the quiet desperation in his eyes, Harry might assume he was being coy. He can feel the way Niall trembles in his hand though, afraid to ask for what he wants even as he answers with a soft but impassioned, “ _both_.”

“You mean that?” Harry pulls away to ask, eyes meeting Niall’s in an intense stare full of hunger and longing. “You’re not just saying that because it’s what I want to hear?”

“I mean it,” Niall answers, reaching up to grasp Harry by the back of the neck, urging him back into Niall’s space, their breath mingling as he allows Niall to pull him in. “I need it. Please.”

Harry’s only response is to close the distance, answering Niall with a soft press of lips that swiftly opens to tease a taste of what he truly desires. 

Niall’s arms wrap around Harry’s neck enveloping him completely, wantonly in his embrace as he takes, letting himself have the thing he’s been craving most for so long. Harry’s kiss feels like everything. It feels like yearning, patience, acceptance. It feels like the start of something amazing and beautiful. It feels a little bit like freedom, but, mostly, it feels _right_.

“Mmm,” Harry hums, crushing Niall’s body closer to his own. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Niall asks, laughter in his tone that Harry captures with another kiss. 

“Yes, to this. To everything,” Harry smiles, playing with Niall’s hair as he gazes at him tenderly. His smile dims a little as he admits, “I’m scared of what could happen if things don’t work out. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Harry--”

Harry quiets Niall with a quick, chaste kiss, “Shhh. You don’t have to apologize anymore or try to convince me, Niall. I’m sold.” He nuzzles Niall’s cheek softly with his nose, grin widening once more. “I think whatever happens, it’ll be worth it.”

Niall bites his lip, an irrational urge to cry burning his eyes as he holds it back. “Thank you,” he tells Harry, unable to look at him while his eyes are threatening to fill with unshed tears. “For letting me live here, for giving me a chance.”

Harry caresses Niall’s cheek, moving to tilt his chin up and make him meet Harry’s eyes. “Thank you for asking. I’m glad you did.”

Closing his eyes just as a single tear breaks free, Niall draws Harry into him again, a rush of pure satisfaction filling him once Harry’s mouth is on his again. He can’t believe he’s here right now and he’s so grateful.

As the intensity of their kisses grow, their bodies inch as close to each other as possible and Harry grows breathless with how much he yearns to lead Niall straight to his bedroom and undress him slowly, worshiping every inch of his body. He knows that Niall is new to this though, so he slows them down instead of pushing further. The pressure of his lips becoming lighter, the stroke of his tongue sweeter as he edges them both away from their more carnal desires.

“Can we--” Niall cuts himself off to kiss Harry again before trying again. “Can we sit or something?”

“Yeah,” Harry answers with a laugh, taking Niall’s hand and escorting him to the sofa. He lets Niall sit first and then follows, crowding into him and brushing his lips across Niall’s cheek, taking an unhurried, meandering path back to his mouth.

“I like you too, weirdo,” Niall mutters, unable to keep from grinning when Harry laughs before giving Niall what he wants and finding his lips again. 

They sit like that, the wet smack of their lips accompanied only by the occasional hum of approval for what feels like hours, snogging with no agenda but the enjoyment of it. Eventually, Harry pulls back, resting his head on Niall’s shoulder. “Tonight’s been a really good night.”

“Yeah,” Niall agrees quickly, something in his stomach twisting even as he says it. “It has.”

Harry isn’t even sure what it is, but he hears something hesitant in Niall’s answer. Maybe it was how quick he was to agree or how short the reply was, but it has Harry lifting his head to look at Niall, searching his face. He grabs Niall’s hand with his own, holding on with a loose but steady grip. “What is it?”

“What?” Niall asks, panic streaking his tone. He wasn’t expecting Harry to question his response and he fears that he’s going to ruin this before it’s even begun. “What is what?”

Harry’s face clouds over with a mixture of concern and disapproval. “I can tell something is wrong, Niall. What is it?”

“I-” Niall closes his eyes, hating that look of disappointment on Harry’s face. He takes a breath and exhales, trying to force the negative feelings creeping in out with the air he expels. “I’m sorry.” 

He opens his eyes to find Harry watching him. The disappointment has faded but there’s still concern etched in the corners of his eyes and lined on his forehead but he waits patiently, giving Niall the time to gather his thoughts and explain himself. It’s that ability Harry has of always being so careful and patient with Niall that lets him push past the fears he feels trying to build themselves back up inside him. Even when he wasn’t particularly happy with Niall, Harry has always let his kind heart show through in his actions and Niall realizes, quite suddenly that that gives him faith in them and what they could be, what they can face together. Looking into Harry’s eyes, feeling the brush of Harry’s thumb over the back of his hand as he waits for Niall to speak, it becomes clear to Niall that his faith is so much stronger than his fears. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said it was a great night. It’s been… the best night I could ever hope for,” Niall tells him, wanting to wipe away any fear Harry might have that Niall could ever regret what they’ve already said and done. “So, that hesitation or fear or whatever it was you heard, that wasn’t about tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry repeats, trying not to let the bubble of apprehension that’s growing in his chest show on his face. Niall’s assurances stop it from growing larger, but it’s still sitting there, looming like a bad omen. “So what was it?”

It takes another moment for Niall to find the right words to explain. He’s still not sure about them, but he opens his mouth anyway. “I was thinking about what happens tomorrow,” he squeezes Harry’s hand, anxiously, hoping he can get this out without sounding like a total fool. “Tonight is incredible and unforgettable, but it’s behind closed doors, and I’m not sure what happens when we take this outside this flat. I’ve never--”

Letting go of his hand, Harry hugs him. “Hey,” he says softly, stopping Niall from saying more and hopefully keeping him from becoming entangled in a spiral of self-doubt. “We can take this as slow as you need to. I know with your brother that it’s not going to be easy getting used to the idea of being free about your sexality in front of other people. I’m not going to rush you and you don’t need to worry that you’re upsetting me by not being ready. I wouldn’t have agreed to this if that wasn’t something I could accept, okay?”

He pulls away from Niall to check his expression and sees his eyes are brimming again. 

“You didn’t let me finish,” Niall tells him with a watery grin. 

“Oh.” Harry blinks, dumbfounded by the response. “Sorry. Go on.”

Niall chuckles, giving him a quick kiss in apology for ruining his moment of gallantry. “I was going to say, I’ve never had something that mattered enough to make me want to face those fears. But I want that now. And I know it won’t be easy, but I think with you I can do anything.”

Harry exhales a shaky breath at Niall’s confession, capturing his lips in a fervent kiss when he can find no words with which to return the sentiment. 

Niall laughs joyously into the kiss, ready to brave taking on the world even though he knows Harry would never ask him to. But he supposes that’s what love is, doing the hard things for the person you hold inside your heart because they make it worth it. Niall may not have always known his heart, but he thinks he’s got a pretty good read on it now.

Maybe things didn’t turn out the way they had hoped when they were kids. Maybe they weren’t able to hold onto that youthful friendship they’d thought was so strong. But maybe the universe had other plans for them all along. Better plans. The best plans. Ones that include a new friendship built on their old history.

Whatever those plans may be, they’re ready to see what happens next together.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
